13 QUOTES WE CAN NEVER FORGET IN 2013

SecretsReporters

The year 2013 will be confined in the memory of history in less than a week
from now, yet it’s a year to remember. Some people made the year great by
making us laugh, while some made us heroes and others villians. 2013 produced words never thought
could ever be uttered but yes, like the rain from the cloud, they poured it.

Our public figures mesmerized us with the expressions of their heart and
while we may have forgiven them, we can never forget them. These quotes made
2013 a year to remember. Starting from our least notorious, we also have the
star prize and guess who…

13. “Any academic staff who fails to resume on or
before December 4, 2013 automatically ceases to be a staff of the institution and vice chancellors are also directed to advertise
vacancies in their institutions.” –
Nyesom Wike, the Education minister. Here is a Minister who has turned to a thug
in his home state, Rivers who suddenly got into the shoes of being the
Supervising Minister for Education. While the Academic Staff Union of
Universities (ASUU) Strike lasted, he never gave a damn, only to wake up from
the blues one morning to announce the above quote. Rather than solved the
problem, it escalated it as the lecturers dared him to sack them. Your guess is
as good as ours; Wike ate the humble pie by not only signing the demanded sum
for the lectures but apologising to them.

12. “Where are my shoes mhen” – Jim Iyke. Many people will never remember
this scenario but not us. We captured every moment of this year and this
statement by Nollywood badboy never escaped us. Minutes after being delivered by
Prophet TB Joshua, he staggered and began to look for his shoes, which he flung
away while the deliverance was taking place. Even in God’s house, the mhen word
never left his mouth.

11. “As the president, I don’t know him (Abu Shekau)
and don’t know if he is dead or alive; you journalists will know more than us. You are the ones who talk to Boko Haram.” – Nigeria
President Goodluck Jonathan. Here is a President who told the world that the
dreaded Boko Haram leader, Shekau was dead, only for him to come out publicly
during a media chat that he doesn’t know if his statement is true. Clueless as
ever, he laid the blame on the feet of Journalists.

10. 6) “Come, sit on my laps and I will show you a level
of grace you do not understand.” – Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of Commonwealth
Of Zion Assembly (COZA) reportedly
telling seductress Ese Walters. And truly he took her to a grace she never
understood, as she began to speak in tongues, oh sorry blog, by exposing all
the details of their sexual experience. Pastor Biodun has not denied or confirms
the story of this temptress

9. “We do not pray for accidents but it is inevitable…
we do everything to ensure that we
do not have accidents, but it is an act of God.” – Stella Oduah, Aviation Minister,
telling Journalists that the Associated Airline crash ferrying Agagu’s dead
body which killed 16 people was an act of God and not negligence on her part
for failing to make them comply to international standard. She was however
proved wrong as God disgraced her by the revelation of the Accident Investigation
Bureau who revealed that the crash was due to a malfunction of the airline. She
never got away with such silly statement as Nigerians called for her immediate
resignation. This Princess really entertained us in 2013 and we won’t be
surprised if she has two quotes for the year. We just cannot tell…

8.  “People who talk about
corruption in the oil industry are mainly those who failed to get oil blocs,
contracts and favor” – President Jonathan. Again when we heard this word during
his Presidential Media Chat, we thought we never heard well, but we did. Here was
a president justifying the corruption in the oil sector. He even accused us
journalists of writing false story against his girl friend, Alison Madueke,
because he didn’t give us oil blocs. Little wonder he has two quotes to his
name.

7. “ The website is www.nscdc that’s all
–  Mr Obafiye Shem, a Commandant of the
Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, Lagos State made this blunder in an
appearance on the Channels TV daily sunrise programme. When asked by the
presenters the website of the Civil defence, he muttered and stammered, before
he disgracefully uttered those immortal quotes. We learnt from an unreliable grapevine
that some computer gurus are set to create a website without .com etc

6. “You are stupid. How can you ask me such a stupid question?”  Alao Akala. Former governor of Oyo State got
angry at a Punch Newspaper Journalist for asking him if he bleaches. While no
one can accuse him of such, sights of his knuckles shows a bleaching man, and
if a clean conscience fears no accusation, then such quote ought not to have
come.

5. “Yes, Patience Jonathan is my Jesus Christ!” – Evans Bipi, a honorable
member of the Rivers State House of Assembly, self acclaimed Speaker and a cultist
who led the massacre at the Assembly to impeach the speaker confessed to the
world that Mama Peace, a mere mortal has become his savior. All that is left is
to build a church and name after her, ‘Jesus of Okirika Chapel.

4. “Do the needful” – Stella Oduah again, Aviation Minister who looted
N625 Million to buy two bullet proof BMW Cars. When asked if there was
provision made for such purchase, he told the House of Representatives that she
only wrote on the document for FAAN to ‘do the needful’, a word which neither
confirms nor deny.

3. “I was not a tribalist when I had a long- standing
and intimate relationship with Miss Bianca
Onoh, an Igbo lady… – Femi Fani Kayode, loquacious former aviation minister
and presidential spokesman, telling us how he
screwed the former beauty queen and late Odimegwu Ojukwu wife, all in his bid
to defend how much he loves the Igbos. Rather than get credit for the
statement; he earned himself barrages of insult with Bianca threatening
lawsuit. Just when we thought it was over, he told us how ready he was to tell
us the favorite colors of Bianca pant and that sealed the story..

2 “I cannot categorically tell you one now…
the one we are going to make use of is going

to be made known by my oga at the top…”
Mr Obafaiye Shem, former Lagos state
commandant of the National Security and Civil
Defence Corps in reply to the answer of the
website of NSCDC goofed by giving us headlines for weeks, and while the
controversy was on, Nollywood brought out a movie while designers gave us wears
with the inscription.

1. “You are a widow… go and die” -Comrade or come and raid AdamsOshiomhole showed us all his true colors when he
was caught right on camera telling a widow to go and die after seizing her
wares she was selling by the roadside. And though he compensated her with
millions of naira and a job, history has recorded him as Nigeria most
insensitive governor to the plight of widows.

STAR BONUS

“These little things matter…” – Fejiro Oliver, a Journalist who coined a
phrase for his column on media, and while it may not be notorious to 90 percent
of Nigerians, it is to the few 10 percent whose reports go against. In 2013, it
became a favorite catch phrase to most Nigerians in ending social media
comments (A way of rewarding our own)