I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on
Oscar Levant

Fejiro Oliver

If anyone in Nigeria still thinks we have a performing President, such a person had better visit a psychologist and if it persists, visit a psychiatrist. For the 3 years that President Goodluck Jonathan has piloted the affairs of this country, he has displayed governance orchestrated by drunkenness and if he deems it fit to go to court over this statement, he is very free. But let him be reminded that no right thinking person will appear before the courts in Nigeria; not me.
His mantra of transformation agenda has turned to ‘traumatization’ agenda. This is a man who rode on the goodwill of Nigerians, not minding that we hated and still bitterly hate the PDP, we gave him our votes willingly like a virgin who has been brainwashed by the deceptive words of his lover and after the painful first time experience left to clean up the blood alone. President Jonathan has raped our collective intelligence and treasury, enjoying the ride and ecstasy alone while we never moaned or screamed as his lovers. Yes, he rode us like a beast while massaging us with sweeter words and promises. Finally he has dumped us!
We have turned to the masturbation of our brains to pleasure selves in order to forget the pains inflicted on us; consoling ourselves that if he doesn’t treat us well as we deserve, we will give ourselves treat, which we have continuously done. We agree that it is all deceit of our individual selves.
Walking like a frail man who knows no evil, with words so sweet to deceive even the strongest of minds, he bamboozled us with ‘I had no shoes” and we fell for it; unknown to us he had over 400 piece of shoes as a deputy governor. We forgot that he was held other positions that had empowered him, but yet we followed him blindly like a lamb led to the slaughter and he has truly slaughtered us.
The realization is not too late that we voted for a drunk who presides after taking shots of whisky or any brand that gets to the table first. If he is not a drunk, how do we explain his actions so far by becoming a terrorist to Journalists, taking them to court for exposing his memo to clamp down on opposition parties? While the case is still in court, he issues more threat of suing another media for daring to publish that he took shots of ‘ogogoro’ during his birthday celebration.
No one gives credit to Obasanjo and former leaders for all the evils they committed against Nigerian, neither have we told them, ‘well done for looting our national treasury”, thus using them to judge President Jonathan’s performance is foolery on anyone’s part. This is what makes some ethnic bigots to threaten fire and hell should GEJ not win 2015 election, simply because he comes from a region that is regarded as the ‘golden geese that lays the golden egg’, as if any of them planted or stored the oil in the land. Our carelessness as a people has given guts to ethnic morons to always scream blue murder when Jonathan is accused of corruption, ranting that he be left alone, ‘after all OBJ did worse. So what! Has OBJ become a standard for retrogression or has IBB become a yardstick to measuring who takes the plaque for Nigeria most corrupt leader. Is Nigeria a country that every ethnic leader who gets to the throne must rape silly?
Only drunk presidents are intimidated by his ministers, fearful of getting them sacked despite mountains of corruption leveled against them by the press and civil society, simply because they funded the rigged election that brought him to power. Only leaders who are always drunk allow ministers like Onyebuchi Chukwu to still remain in the saddle as health minister when it is glaring that he’s not fit for such a job. One would have thought that after the sack of Ruqayat as minister of education as a result of our calls, and replacing her with his buddy who is a thug, Nyesom Wike, the lingering ASUU crisis would have been resolved, but hell no; it gets worse. Here is a leader who has never owned up to his failure; always putting the blame on people and past leaders, which is a hallmark of drunkards. If you cannot stand the heat of the kitchen, get out.
Our drunken President has now mandated his puppet Vice Chancellors to force our erudite professors and lecturers to resume academic lectures or lose their positions. What arrant decree from a civilian president who has successfully metamorphosed into an emperor with title as Emperor Goodluck Jonathan Bulldozer. Does he think we live in the time of the military that his drafting of soldiers to the campuses will cause the lecturers to be frightened and resume? The military regime did worse than this in the popular ‘Ali must go’ and Ali did go. Jonathan should stop beating the war drum that will consume him and set the nation ablaze, for when it begins; not even the safety of Aso Rock can secure him. Only drunken Presidents dare the academia in their country for that begins the downfall of their regime, hence most leaders avoid them like plagues, giving them their dues with less confrontation.
Do we attach President’s Jonathan’s behavior to his study of zoology, haven mingled with animals that are lesser beings with shallow brains? I really don’t know where to place him. For the first time in the history of any country, opposition parties are always coming third in elections, in a new rigging style that the Goodluck administration have invented. For the first time in a country, opposition party leaders take to the street to protest the charade called election in Anambra States, and the President deploys all security forces to stop them. This is a protest where a former head of state and retired army general partook in! Hasn’t the president taken enough shots of ‘ogogoro’ for him to have the boldness to stop such constitutional process, using the apparatus of the state, which are funded by the generality of Nigerians?
For the very first time in our country, a President loses grip of his political structure in broad day light, prompting them to move to the opposition party, thereby making the President a minority leader; such a record he must be happy to have broken, as the world’s first president to come from a minority party. For crying out loud, how did we degenerate to this level of shame that we have a Rehoboam as a President; a drunk who never thinks before he acts; a leader who takes all his most sensitive decisions from corrupt imperialist women? Only drunks makes certificate forgers board members of a university and foremost corrupt ex governor board chairman of Pension commission, giving him access to loot the money of pensioners, which will be used in funding the president’s 2015 election.
Sometimes one wonders the army of deceivers who surrounds this once innocent president, telling him tales of Nigerians supporting his regime. One truly cannot tell where he gets the statement that Nigerians are asking him to contest for second tenure. Mr. President, please wake up from your slumber; no Nigerian has asked you to contest and if any has asked you, they are your ethnic group from South South, few South West people and minimum of South East voters and you can hear this straight; your support base is not up to two million voters.
Run for what? That we may continue in this hell that you and your PDP Governor’s forum Chairman, Godswill Akpabio has inflicted on us? Nigerians has not given up completely on you, for the race is still on. Most people are not good starters in a race and you are obviously one of such, hence the benefit of doubt that you may just end up well and become the most loved president in Nigeria’s history as you have always wished; that is if wishes were horses. Take less of alcohol and listen less to your corrupt henchmen, for in them lies your albatross.
We have given you a fresh start; solve all the lingering issues in the health and education sectors, do your best to alleviate the poverty level of Nigerians, read and listen to critical reports about you for that is where you will get the true pictures of happenings in Nigeria, not from your 419 aides. We hope to see you at the top.
These little things matter…
Fejiro Oliver, a Journalist can be reached on and +2348026797588 (sms only please). Follow on twitter  @fejirooliver86 and Facebook  fejirooliver86. Like our Facebook page – secretsreporters


Fejiro Oliver

The much “historical” book of Achebe is finally out, but instead of getting encomiums like his previous literary works, it has garnered unprecedented criticism, and unless Chinua Achebe himself moves to douse the tension, the dust his book has raised may never go down.

I am neither Igbo nor Yoruba, I’m simply a Nigerian and thus one should not see it as being partial when I take my side of the divide. In life, it’s either you are for, or you are against. There’s simply no sitting on the fence. Achebe has nursed the wound of the Civil war for years and when he could no longer bear it, he wrote yet another classic, barring his personal view of the war.

Haven been an Awoist since my secondary school days, as well as an Ojukwumania, I find it convenient to comfortably do justice to the review of Achebe’s book. Having read many criticism about the book, mainly those from the Eastern part of the country praising Achebe for being frank and the South West condemning Achebe for murdering history, one thing missing in all criticism is their failure to realize that Chinua Achebe made it clear that the book is not from the historical or general perception and experience, but his own PERSONAL experience (emphasis mine).

What our literary giant failed to realize is that he has crossed the stage of mortality to immortality, as whatever he says and writes is documented and becomes a reference point, even if what he wrote are blatant lies. When a document becomes a reference point, everything it says is assumed as truth. But for his latest work, I dare say that Chinua Achebe was ethnically sentimental in his book.

His accusation of Obafemi Awolowo being instrumental to the defeat of a certain country called ‘Biafra’ does not hold water. Biafra was never a country and the earlier we correct that notion, the better for us all. Achebe wrote that Awolowo used starvation to prosecute the war, and this amounted to genocide. I think our erudite professor should go back to the history of Cote d’Ivoire and the Jews and know what it means to be guilty of genocide. Yes! I was not born before the civil war, and that is why I have always taken my history books serious.

For all I remember, Awolowo in an interview noted that he sends food to the people of ‘Biafra’, but the truck load of food were hijacked by the ‘Biafran’ soldiers it was when he discovered their antics that he stopped sending food. Now, who would want to feed his enemy fat and give him strength to fight? Even Ojukwu who I adore would do so were he in Awolowo’s shoe. Professor Achebe failed to write that Ojukwu confessed that what made him loose the war was the change in currency by the Nigerian Government, an action which Awolowo master minded. Ojukwu was said to have looted the Central Bank of Nigeria in Port Harcourt and other CBN located in their domain, so he could use it to purchase weapons. Achebe was never a protagonist of the war and cannot be in the right position to comment on it. Ojukwu concluded that change in currency defeated him, while Achebe concluded that starvation defeated Ojukwu. Funny it is, but an exam with such question will see the candidates ticking currency change. Writing, Achebe said, “it is my impression that Chief Obafemi Awolowo was driven by an overriding ambition of power, for himself in particular and for the advancement of his Yoruba people in general.

And let it be said on the surface at least nothing wrong with these aspirations. However, Awolowo saw the dominant Igbos at the time as the obstacle for that goal and when the opportunity arose, the Nigeria-Biafra war- his ambition drove him to frenzy to go every length to achieve his dreams. In the Biafra case, it meant hatching up a diabolical policy to reduce the numbers of future generations”.

Well written, but distorted facts. On Saturday 6th May 1967, in Enugu, Awolowo led a team of people to Enugu for a meeting with Ojukwu for a peace resolution and stop the war, which would have killed the “over 2 million people” that Achebe talked about. Hardly had Awolowo left Enugu when Ojukwu announced the creation of Biafra. How can a man who wants to eliminate his enemies broker a peace talk?

It is this Awolowo that Achebe said is afraid of Igbo domination that supported an Easterner, Mr. Ikoli for a seat as Lagos member in the Legislature Council against his kinsmen, Oba Samuel Adesanya, an act which made his people called him traitor. Today, Achebe blames the war defeat on Chief Awolowo, leaving out the head of State, General Gowon, who fought the war. Is it a sign of his bitterness against the Yoruba folks, who have led the Academics way in Nigeria, and their son crowning it all with the greatest literary prize- Nobel Prize for literature? At 81 years of, Achebe should be bridging the gaps of war, not deepening the fabrics of hatred, which already exist in Nigeria.

The Igbos and Yoruba have lived in peace since the end of the civil war, and if Achebe pen brings back the hatred, he may just have written his name on the wrong sand of history. Agreed, Awolowo is human and is fallible, but to paint him as a blood thirsty power hungry leader is a statement taken too far. Ojukwu must have been wise not to have written his memories on the war.

With his action, he turned a demi god. Despite Awolowo supposed ambition and hatred for Igbos as encapsulated by Achebe, is it not ironical that when Awo died, Ojukwu the war protagonist called him, “the best president Nigeria never had?”

It sure tells that Ojukwu appreciated Awo’s mastery of the civil war, and thus there was never a country! You are entitled to your own wife, cars and life but you are not entitled to your own facts. Facts are sacred and it is on this premise that Chinua Achebe goofed!